Recently, Abby was giving me a hard time on a weekend (apparently that's all I write about). She had just finished breakfast and had just taken forever to eat. Everytime I reminded her to do her job, she would roll her eyes, roll her head and sigh exceedingly loud, basically anything that she could do to ensure that she got the maximium reaction from me. Finally, I told her that she needed to buckle down and do her job, or I was going to help her. She then told me that she couldn't do her job because Snow White kept distracting her.
Now, since I couldn't address the issue directly with Snow White, I threatened to send Snow White home. Apparently, if I sent Snow White home, then the evil Queen would kill Snow White.
This sent Abby into a fit of hysterics, and after I explained that she needed to do her job and Snow White would be able to stay, this sent Abby into a tear filled drama tornado headed directly to the bathroom to frantically brush her teeth.
The real question was, should I feel such amusement in my daughter's panic?
Good thing I didn't mention anything about her imaginary horses...
Monday, October 17, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Dragonitis
So, this is my first attempt at a Blog. Bear (grrr) with me.
So, recently my daughter, Abby has had some dry skin on her hands. My beautiful and amazing wife, Olivia came up with the brilliantly idea to put bag balm on her hands and cover them with an old pair of thin gloves overnight. It works like a charm. However, when the dryness has progressed to such a point, it will often take a couple of days to properly hydrate her skin back to health.
Abby, however decided that gloves and horribly sticky stuff that resembles something like some sort of snot-like goo are not a great idea. Even after Olivia cut out one of her thumbs off the gloves, it still was a struggle to get them on. Even better was when she would wait until one of her hands was gooed and gloved up when she would fling them at my head and attempt to smear her hands on my face (my favorite).
Finally, I got tired of it. I told her that we needed to put on bag balm in order to cure her Dragonitis. Abby knows that I tend to tease her and make up stories about stuff. She may be five, but she's not stupid. Very reluctantly she asked what Dragonitis was. I told her that Dragonitis is a rare, but curable disease. If allowed to progress, her skin would turn into scales, she'd grow wings and we'd have her keep her outside with the rest of her imaginary dragons in the Dragon Stable, otherwise she'd sneeze fire and burn down the house.
To make my case even better, shortly after I introduced the concept, we went to Minnesota Renaissance Festival. There, a plethora of enthusiasts dressed up in their chosen flavor of costume. Most were relatively benign and consisted of the wenches and overweight Merry Men of various size, most ranging to obese to grossly obese. There were a couple of true enthusiasts who either have far too much time on their hands, or a significant lack of female companionship. One guy had a full dragon costume, completely covering his body, and complete with a head and wings. I pointed him out to Abby and told him that he was suffering from an advance stage of Dragonitis. Abby no longer had any reason to doubt me.
Now, generally speaking, we don't have anymore issues with putting the gloves. One day when I saw the smearing of the goo on my face to be imminent, I gasped and informed Abby that her Dragonitis is progressing even worse. She got a concerned look her face and asked me what I meant. I had her turned around I rubbed against shoulder blades and told her that she was starting to sprout her wings. I haven't had anymore issues with rubbing bag balm on her hands anymore...
So, recently my daughter, Abby has had some dry skin on her hands. My beautiful and amazing wife, Olivia came up with the brilliantly idea to put bag balm on her hands and cover them with an old pair of thin gloves overnight. It works like a charm. However, when the dryness has progressed to such a point, it will often take a couple of days to properly hydrate her skin back to health.
Abby, however decided that gloves and horribly sticky stuff that resembles something like some sort of snot-like goo are not a great idea. Even after Olivia cut out one of her thumbs off the gloves, it still was a struggle to get them on. Even better was when she would wait until one of her hands was gooed and gloved up when she would fling them at my head and attempt to smear her hands on my face (my favorite).
Finally, I got tired of it. I told her that we needed to put on bag balm in order to cure her Dragonitis. Abby knows that I tend to tease her and make up stories about stuff. She may be five, but she's not stupid. Very reluctantly she asked what Dragonitis was. I told her that Dragonitis is a rare, but curable disease. If allowed to progress, her skin would turn into scales, she'd grow wings and we'd have her keep her outside with the rest of her imaginary dragons in the Dragon Stable, otherwise she'd sneeze fire and burn down the house.
To make my case even better, shortly after I introduced the concept, we went to Minnesota Renaissance Festival. There, a plethora of enthusiasts dressed up in their chosen flavor of costume. Most were relatively benign and consisted of the wenches and overweight Merry Men of various size, most ranging to obese to grossly obese. There were a couple of true enthusiasts who either have far too much time on their hands, or a significant lack of female companionship. One guy had a full dragon costume, completely covering his body, and complete with a head and wings. I pointed him out to Abby and told him that he was suffering from an advance stage of Dragonitis. Abby no longer had any reason to doubt me.
Now, generally speaking, we don't have anymore issues with putting the gloves. One day when I saw the smearing of the goo on my face to be imminent, I gasped and informed Abby that her Dragonitis is progressing even worse. She got a concerned look her face and asked me what I meant. I had her turned around I rubbed against shoulder blades and told her that she was starting to sprout her wings. I haven't had anymore issues with rubbing bag balm on her hands anymore...
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